I have had this topic on my mind for a long while. As wedding photographers, we are in some ways immersed into the culture of all things WEDDING. Wedding trends, wedding “Dos and Don’ts,” wedding faux pas, wedding etiquette, wedding industry leaders, and the list goes on and on. As a part of the wedding industry, we get to experience weddings firsthand very often. Because of networking with other wedding vendors, our lives can sometimes seem like they’re constantly consumed by and infused with all things wedding; our Facebook & Instagram newsfeeds are full of blog posts & photos from photographers, wedding planners, wedding bloggers, DJs, brides, and florists. If we’re honest, we sometimes do find ourselves comparing our business to others’ businesses. Thoughts like “So and so shot a destination wedding in Italy!” or “That photographer shoots the most amazing styled shoots!” or “Wow! He/she/they travel all around the world to photograph weddings” often enter our minds. It’s easy to delve into the depths of comparison with the ubiquitousness of social media. We can allow ourselves to feel less important or less fancy or less talented than others ORÂ we can choose to STOP with the comparison games and realize that we’re Danielle & Josh. We’re Menning Photographic. That’s who God made us to be & we’re unique. The title to this blog post- “Comparison is the thief of joy”- is a quote attributed to Theodore Roosevelt & we believe it to be extremely wise. Don’t allow your joy to be squashed by holding it up against someone else’s story. Remember when you were little and in elementary school and you worked SUPER diligently on a project at home? You straight up annihilated that diorama of the Jurassic Era. Then you proudly took it to school only to find that Jimmy’s or Suzie’s diorama had animatronic dinosaurs that roared and ate real plants. You dejectedly looked at your paper mache dinosaurs that didn’t move or roar and suddenly you didn’t feel so proud of yourself anymore. But the thing is, you did YOUR best. You worked extremely hard on your project and you gave it your all. It was your creation and it made you feel accomplished. Why should anything change that?
We feel that the comparison game happens quite often with weddings. Brides (and grooms & their parents/loved ones/bridal party) excitedly begin to plan a wedding day with all of the correct intentions. They want to plan a lovely day that will express the love between the couple, will allow their guests to have a great experience, and will provide memories for years to come. They’re not immediately caught up in all of the details. They’re not immediately a slave to Pinterest at 2:43 in the morning with DIY wedding boards that’ll make even Martha Stewart’s head explode. They’re not immediately comparing their wedding to every single wedding in every single wedding magazine. At first, they’re happy. They’re joyful. Newly engaged brides-to-be excitedly stare at the way the sunshine glints off of their new engagement ring, they tear up a little listening to love songs that’ll possibly be the first dance song at the wedding reception, and they are JOYFUL at the thought of planning a marriage (first and foremost) and a wedding to the person whom they love the most in the world. And then something regrettable happens. As they plan, they realize that their wedding budget isn’t that of George Clooney or Kim Kardashian. The wedding gowns don’t quite fit them like they fit a 6’1″ 120 pound runway model. Their normal wedding day isn’t quite panning out how all of the elaborate and expensive styled shoots they’re comparing it to on Pinterest seem to look. And suddenly that complete and utter joy, that cloud nine feeling, that “can’t eat, can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of stuff” fades away; the joy has been stolen. And that is unfortunate and just plain sad. One of the happiest times in someone’s life- their wedding day- has just been turned into a source of sadness and a feeling of inadequacy.
So please, let your wedding day be YOUR wedding day! Make it uniquely YOU. Enjoy planning. Step away from Pinterest. Appreciate the fact that there is only one YOUR wedding day! There is only one wedding day between you and your fiance. It shouldn’t be compared to anything else or anyone else’s wedding day. Take notice of the aspects of your wedding day that make it unique- Â the people involved. Your family and your friends- they’re the most special part of the day. They’re the part of the day that you’ll remember. You’ll remember how you danced with your grandmother that day before she passed away a couple of years later. You’ll remember how silly your nephew looked as he tried repeatedly to do the worm. You’ll remember the toasts from your closest friends as they made you laugh so hard you thought champagne was going to come out your nose. You’ll remember how deliriously happy you felt as you kissed your new spouse and were announced as Mr. & Mrs. for the first time to a room full of ALL of your family and friends who were excitedly cheering you on with their faces full of smiles and happy tears. If you ask me, Kim K. & Martha Stewart got nothin’ on that. 😉
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